Single women, you set the pace.

A single woman on a swingers site has more choice than almost anyone else on it. The trick is using that choice well, and only saying yes to what you actually want.

Some women come to the lifestyle alone because a partner isn’t interested; others simply prefer to keep their own life separate and enjoy the odd adventure on their terms. Either way you’ll find a warm welcome, and plenty of messages. Treat it like any other part of your social life: be clear on your profile about what you’re after, ignore anyone who can’t read it, and take your time. There’s no rush to meet anyone, and nobody here is owed your attention.

Couples, single men, or both

Most single women on the site end up meeting couples, often a woman and her partner who’d like a third for the evening. Others prefer to meet single men, and some enjoy both. It helps to decide which before you start replying, because it changes who you talk to and how. If it’s couples, look for profiles where she’s clearly as keen as he is. If it’s men, the ones worth your time will have read your profile and written something that proves it.

Your first time as a single woman swinger

Start with conversation, not plans. Chat on the site until you’re comfortable, ask whatever you need to ask, and suggest meeting somewhere public where you can leave whenever you like. Let a friend know where you’ll be. A first meet can be nothing more than a drink and a laugh, and that’s a perfectly good outcome. If the spark is there, you’ll both know, and you can decide the next step another day.

Single women swingers near you

Other members only ever see the nearest town on your profile, not your address, so you can look at who’s close by while home stays private. Plenty of women prefer to meet a little away from home, in the next town over, for a bit of extra privacy. Read profiles properly, look for the verified badge, and block anyone who makes you uneasy. It takes one tap, and they won’t see you again.

Many couples on the site would love a woman to join them, so expect to hear from more of them than you might think. Being choosy is allowed.

Talk to both of them, not just one. If only the husband ever writes, it’s fair to ask politely whether his partner is just as keen.

Meet the pair of them for a drink first, somewhere you know. If the chemistry isn’t there, a friendly goodbye is all anyone is owed.

If you’d rather meet a man

Single men are on the site too. Read profiles properly and you’ll soon see who’s here for the lifestyle and who’s just passing through.

If this is all new

Join, look around and say nothing for a week if you like. Watching how people talk to each other is a good way to work out what you want. Our beginner’s guide covers the basics.